Narcissists view partners as trophies under their power and may expect partners to show deference and adoring behavior throughout the relationship. Manipulation of a partner is emotional abuse, and narcissists resort to some pretty low behaviors if they feel that they are losing their hold on a partner.
Romantic love can evolve into love, but narcissists aren't motivated to really know and understand others. They lose interest as the expectation of intimacy increases or when they've won at their game. Even if they marry, they're unlikely to support their spouse's needs and wants if it's inconvenient.
The short answer is a simple “no.” It is actually highly unlikely that your narcissistic partner is even capable of real love, let alone feels it towards you past the beginning of your relationship.
When they make promises, you never know if they're going to keep them. Narcissists are notorious for making promises and then breaking them when it's convenient. You don't feel as though you have a partner you can rely on, and you find yourself having to do everything yourself.
A narcissistic man is attracted to someone who looks beautiful and accomplished—not because they like that person, but because her appearance and accomplishments fuel his ego. However, a narcissist also wants a woman who isn't too confident because he wants to run the show.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Narcissists are attracted to strong, powerful women. For one, a strong woman can take care of him. Because despite macho appearances and charismatic first impressions, a narcissist needs a lot of care! Two, narcissists take special pleasure in destroying a strong woman.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
The Narcissistic Wife, because of her attendant grandiosity, also lacks empathy. One of the great pains of having a Narcissistic Wife is that she will constantly step on your feelings. Sometimes it will be intentional, and sometimes you will just be collateral damage as she seeks to prop up her fragile self-esteem.
1. The charm. The narcissist's initial charm is the reason why a narcissist married in the first place, and it's also likely to be the answer to how narcissists stay married. It might seem strange that somebody who displays such ugly characteristics can have the level of charm that a narcissist can display.
They brag to be respected, loved, and gratified. Additionally, their strong social skills allow them to make a good initial first impression. They can show great interest in romantic prospects and seduce with generosity, expressions of love, flattery, sex, romance, and promises of commitment.
“Deep down, narcissists hope for love and caring”, says Frank Yeomans, “but it often makes them feel very uncomfortable if they seem to find it, partly because they feel vulnerable and doubt the authenticity of any love that comes their way.
Through his research, Campbell found that the four-month mark — the apparent satisfaction peak in any dating relationship — is typically how long it takes for someone dating a narcissist to see their true colours.
Many people with narcissistic personality disorder appear to be in a successful and happy marriage. Their social media posts show them laughing together over a special dinner, walking hand-in-hand along the beach, and even renewing their marriage vows in front of friends and family.
But as clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula points out, narcissists often have a habit of staying in contact with their exes in a way that is solely about their own needs. "The central motivator for narcissists is validation," she explains. "And an ex is often a really interesting place to get it...
Narcissistic partners usually have difficulty really loving someone else, because they don't truly love themselves. They are so focused on themselves that they cannot really “see” their partner as a separate person. They tend to only see the partner in terms of how they fill their needs (or fail to fill their needs).
A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
A narcissist will try and delay the ending of the relationship as it is the control of the relationship upon which they thrive. Even if the end of the relationship is inevitable they will stall and seek to delay the divorce process.
2. They exude manipulative behaviors. When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right.
Another strategy used by the narcissist to “get back” is to start blaming the other partner for incidentals but over and over again. They might say, “You're holding me back,” for example, when they seek constant activity with no downtime.
Remember that a narcissist will protect their supply at all costs. If they feel like they're losing you, they'll either double down on their efforts to lure you back in.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
8 Triggers of a Narcissist's Rage
They're not the center of attention. They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries. They're held accountable for their actions. Their idealized self-image was harmed in some way.
Narcissists seek out people who are known as “givers.” If the relationship is not quite 50/50, the narcissist is betting that partners who have a natural tendency to take care of others will not complain, as they get pleasure out of being naturally self-sacrificing.